EDNA
Gertrude, get out your handbag! Here come Josephine and Agatha from The Greendale Retirement Village.
GERTRUDE
My handbag is out, I have your back.
EDNA
How? You intend to sneak away with your mobility scooter.
GERTRUDE
Don’t doubt me.
EDNA
I doubt you.
GERTRUDE
Let’s let them make the first move.
EDNA
I will scowl as I stroll past them and let them take it as they please.
GERTRUDE
No, I shall jab my walking stick at them, which will offend them. Let’s see if they can handle it.
Enter AGATHA and JOSEPHINE
GERTRUDE jabs walking stick at AGATHA and JOSEPHINE
AGATHA
Do you jab your walking stick at us?
GERTRUDE
I do jab my walking stick, dear.
AGATHA
Do you jab your walking stick at us?
GERTRUDE
(Aside to EDNA) Is it right if I say I yes?
EDNA
No
GERTRUDE
No, I don’t jab my walking stick at you, but I jab my walking stick.
EDNA
Are you squabbling with us?
AGATHA
No, dear.
GERTRUDE
If we are to squabble we should do this over a game of bingo.
EDNA
We have no better way to do this.
GERTRUDE
Here come one of my nurses. We better be quick about the game.
They play bingo
GERTRUDE
1 6 8 4
JOSEPHINE & EDNA
BINGO!
EDNA
I said it first!
JOSEPHINE
NO! It was me.
Enter GWEN
GWEN
Stop, you stupid old bats!
Put down your counters, you don’t know what you’re doing.
Gwen takes away their counters, smacks AGATHA with a handbag and she falls unconscious.
THE END
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